Over the top with Field Marshall Lord Kitchener

Image via Wikipedia

Over the top
In mid-week Nani went in over the top for Man U against Aston Villa and was sent off in the 28th minute. His manager said he was naive (rather than malicious) with a two-footed late tackle. Unfortunately I am now minus three points as I had just brought him in to my Fantasy League team.

Your country needs you!
Martin Keown on BBC Television´s Football Focus today commented on whether Wayne Bridge would play alongside John Terry in England's World Cup tournament this summer given recent personal causes of friction. Keown echoed the words of Lord Kitchener.                     
"His country needs him," declared Keown.

I think that M. Keown was being naive in using these words when calling on W. Rooney to put aside personal grievance with J. Terry and play for his country. The words he echoed were from Lord Kitchener on a poster with the Lord's likeness, his pointing finger, and the words: Your country needs you! The purpose was to stir men to face death and disfigurement by volunteering to join the army in the First World War. And if you survived you then faced unemployment on your return from the war.


I think Martin was over the top. A red card from me for going in with this phrase on this occasion.
(The photo is a screen grab from Football Focus, copyright owned by the BBC . I consider that it  is used here fairly  for identification and comment)  All that Wayne Bridge would sacrifice would be a summer holiday - in return for extra money, honour and the chance of greater fame if England won the World Cup.

• Aston Villa 1-1 Man Utd: Ten men grab point (soccernet.espn.go.com)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Ashley Cole Breaks Ankle: Will Wayne Bridge Play with JT for Egland? (bleacherreport.com)

Celebrity Soccer, the film?
I am looking forward to watching David Beckham  on Tuesday night when he will surely play in Milan against his former team Man Utd in a Champions League match. Wayne Rooney, the Man Utd striker, is reported elsewhere saying that another member of the Milan team is the best footballer he has ever played against. The man in question also appeared in video footage on BBC's Football Focus this morning. Who was he? He has won three Champions League medals, one with Real Madrid last century, the other two with Milan. He also played in that famous final in Turkey against Liverpool in 2005 when his team were beaten after leading 3-0. He returned to the final the following year to win his third medal. Against ............. Liverpool, of course!

The drama of the football game is hard to match in any soap opera or other fiction -  as is the career of this admirable Dutch player called Clarence.

You'll recall his surname and remember his achievements if you follow the link: http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/13022010/63/rooney-salutes-supreme-seedorf.html

The Italian press are reporting that Clarence is going out with George Clooney's former girl-friend. I look forward to hearing that George will play the part of Clarence in an upcoming film.

Guess the headline!

Chelsea played Burnley today k.o. 1730. Captain John Terry had been revealed earlier in the press, eg Daily Telegraph front page report, as trying by an injunction naming News of the World to hide an affair with a fellow player's girl-friend.  (The player is no longer at Chelsea)

As current England captain, he would have to step down, said Henry Winter. Presumably because you cannot have a public figure having it off with anyone but his wife. To whom he was married on a grand scale not long ago at Blenheim Palace (hired for the occasion).

Anyway, during the match at Burnley, the first time in 36 years since Chelsea had played at Turf Moor, with the score 1-1 my son, Nick, watching on television in his London pub, sent me a text
'What if Terry got the winning goal? Think of the headlines in tomorrow`s papers!'
I did.

'0h, yes!!!' I replied.

And 30 minutes later John Terry headed the winning goal for Chelsea, reported Nick by mobile on the way home from the pub.
And so here is the headline before the newspapers get there:

                                   "Terry scored!"   (in purple prose)

Not Rocket Science!

Watching Porto v Chelsea last night on our 28" television, I kept looking for Ballack. He is a big man, over six feet. Dark hair, good looking athlete. I knew that he was supposed to be playing from pre-match information. It was a Champions League Group match which Chelsea won 1-0. I thought it was him once when a Chelsea player approaching the Porto penalty area received and then passed the ball. The commentator didn't mention it. And if it was him I was not able to identify him again until he was substituted. I realise that I have watched many matches without identifying Ballack. Over several seasons. The next day when he is praised in the press I think ....where was he? Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming Ballack, he may well have had a good game. But to the television spectator he is just a nameless figure representing Chelsea. Like plenty of others.



Commentators don't just comment. They are also identifiers! Interpreters of the screen made of dots of colour. Get real! I know we have huge screens, but the shapes we see are only in two dimensions and only centimetres high in distance shots. My familiarity with a shape will surely develop given time spent watching the shape. But only if it is identified. I want to know who I am watching. Remember the radio? The commentator tells you who has the ball.


On my television, on a large screen, not on a small flickering postcard-sized 1960's meccano-set - when a minute figure picks up a pass in the centre near the penalty box I might be able to tell it is Drogba.  I have a fair idea of Drogba's shape. I think, "Shoot, Drogba, you world-beater you!" And I shout. "Let's have a goal Droggers, old son!
Then the lackey of a commentator says, "Lampard puts another shot wide."
He tells us who had the ball but only when the emotion it conjures has gone.


(Note:This was another match, not last night's; Lampard has put quite a lot of shots wide this so far this season, but in fact last night he was somewhere foreign having placenta treatment on his knee/thigh! How mad is that?)



And have you noticed how much more difficult it is to recognise players on screen WHEN THEY ARE WEARING THE AWAY STRIP? John Terry in the Chelsea blue is instantly recognisable, except in the very long shots. Put him in pink and you have no clue at all who it is. Last night Chelsea were in a kind of white but not England white. Chelsea also have grey shirts and black ones. This all adds to the confusion of who actually is playing, kicking, dribbling, tripping, diving, pulling shirts and taking throw-ins. The commentator is struck mute on this subject most of the time. But he is supposed to be at the match looking at real players and interpreting the game.



For corners and free-kicks you usually get a close-up shot and I can recognise the player - by the 30th game of the season when I have seen him in blue for a few matches, that is. Why don´t the commentators make sure we have the vital information: who the bloody hell has the ball? We can see figures on the pitch and the size of the crowd and all the adverts, come to that. We can see lots of irrelevant information on the screen BUT we want to know the name of the one WHO HAS THE BALL, and the name of the one who has it next, and so on.

Cech throws the ball to Ashley Cole who strokes it forward to Malouda .. Ballack .. Lampard .. Anelka .. Ivanovich coming forward .. Joe Cole  .. BALLACK (there he is)..Drogba .. on his back .. gets up .. unbelievable .. and shoots.

"It's a goal", shouts the commentator. "Drogba has scored a magnificent goal!"

It is not rocket science!